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Tiger, Tiger (Inglés) Tapa blanda – ene 2012


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Tapa blanda, ene 2012
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Book by Fragoso Margaux


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Amazon.com: 62 opiniones
78 de 85 personas piensan que la opinión es útil
A Painful and Beautifully Wrought Memoir of Sexual Abuse 4 de marzo de 2011
Por Bonnie Brody - Publicado en Amazon.com
Formato: Tapa dura Compra verificada
This is one of the most visceral and heartfelt books I have ever read. It is a brave and painful book, difficult to read but beautifully wrought. From the time she was eight years old, Maugaux Fragoso was sexually abused by a man named Peter who is 51 years old when he meets her. The abuse lasts for years and years. Peter grooms Margaux, enchanting her with his home that is filled with animals like hamsters, iguanas, a dog and rabbits. He plays with her as if he was a child. He charms her, acts like a father and pretends to give her unconditional love. However, all this time he is truly a predator, attempting to begin the sexual abuse that is initiated in earnest when Margaux is eight years old.

Margaux becomes completely dependent on Peter and believes that he is the only one in the world that loves her. At times, however, she acts out in ways that indicate she has been abused but the adults in her life do not take notice. She has fugue states, terrible anger issues, spends the nights with Peter. Margaux's mother is seriously mentally ill and encourages her relationship with Peter. Her father is physically and emotionally abusive to Margaux and to her mother. Her father, at one point, suspects that Margaux is being sexually abused, but shows no empathy. In fact, if she were to admit her abuse, he'd put her on the street. When Margaux is in high school, a social worker is called in because people in the neighborhood are suspicious of Margaux's relationship with Peter but she defends him. It is not that different from Stockholm Syndrome.

As a therapist, I understand the trauma that Margaux was experiencing and her need to believe that Peter was her love. "I was Peter's religion" she says. She would put on alter-personalities to please Peter and also to believe she had some control over him. One of these personalities is a "bad girl" named Nina. Nina acts rough and tough and streetwise with a foul mouth. She punishes Peter. At times their relationship becomes physical and Peter tries to choke Margaux, gives her a black eye and punches her in the face. "I like being Nina". "It seemed as though Peter's other self Mr. Nasty was dependent on Nina and that he needed her to survive. The favors she gave him made him feel guilty and caused him to owe favors in return. This all amounted to me being in charge" Margaux needed to feel some element of control because in reality she was under Peter's control entirely.

Peter tells her that "all men like young girls whether they admit it or not. Most guys are just dishonest about it". "If you were to openly admit, yes, I find young girls attractive, you'd be burned at the stake." Peter also tries to get Margaux to believe that she is his only 'love' but she finds out that, like other pedophiles, this is not the case. There have been others, he has been in jail, and is chock-filled with secrets that gradually come out. He brainwashes her over and over again with lies and twisted love.

Margaux begins to believe that only someone like Peter - old, without teeth, perverted - could love someone like her. She is an outcast at school and doesn't know how to interact with young people her age. All of her life is spent trying to please Peter. "What did kids my own age talk about? If they'd seen me with Peter, who would I say he was? My father? He was so old he could have been my grandfather."

I encourage anyone who is in the field of trauma or sexual abuse to read this book. If you or someone you know has been sexually abused, read this book. If you want to read a beautiful memoir written by a brave and courageous woman, read this book. It is without comparison in its forthrightness, pain and hope.
22 de 24 personas piensan que la opinión es útil
In the Forests of the Night 3 de junio de 2011
Por Story Circle Book Reviews - Publicado en Amazon.com
Formato: Tapa dura
When Margaux Fragoso's memoir came to my attention, my first impulse was to avoid it. In these times of awful news and crass motives, I was not inclined to give further attention to the subject--pedophilia--or the possibly exploitive author and her publisher. Then I read the first dozen pages and realized Fragoso could write. I noted that her publisher was the fine Farrar, Straus and Giroux. I wondered if my reluctance was narrow, or even fearful. Eventually I knew I would disappoint myself, and possibly miss an opportunity to read a good book, if I didn't give Tiger, Tiger a try. Soon, despite some negative reviews, I was deep in the story.

With a mentally ill mother and a mean-spirited, alcoholic father, lonely seven-year-old Margaux meets fifty-one-year-old Peter at a local swimming pool. He is playing with the sons of his roommate, and they give the appearance of a happy family. Impulsively, she asks to play with them and is immediately welcomed. Soon, Peter invites Margaux and her mother over to his house, where they meet the extraordinary menagerie that he tends, including a small caiman crocodile who falls asleep as Peter rubs its belly. This animal whisperer soon has both mother and daughter charmed as well. Before long they are visiting Peter twice a week. He offers Margaux tremendous freedom at his home, and though she doesn't like what feels like pushiness in him, she revels in the liberty. When her mother complains about and makes fun of her father, Margaux joins in, Peter sympathizes, and the father is set as the outsider, excluded from their fun.

Fragoso gives us a detailed description of Curran's seductive manipulation of the entire family, as he gradually inserts himself into their lives and convinces them of his good intentions, and as they close their eyes to the result. Using guilt and bribery, elaborate fantasy play, and a child's longing for love, he makes Margaux his co-conspirator and persuades her that society's rules don't apply to them.

The strength of this book is Fragoso's ability to make that child's perspective vivid and believable. As Curran takes each uncomfortably intimate step, he finds ways to calm and entice her. Within a year he manages to make the relationship sexual, and Fragoso has begun to experience real dissociation from her own senses and emotions.

For fourteen more years, she is bound to him with complex feelings of her own power, vulnerability, distorted affection, and desire. Though some reviewers have been critical because Fragoso seems too loyal and understanding of her victimizer's troubles, it is those very feelings that are important here. The dialogue and details are doubtless more recreation than fact, yet she works through her own healing in the process of writing, and she could do no less than acknowledge the attractions that brought her to care for this broken and dangerous man.

For some victims of childhood sexual trauma, this book may be more troubling than helpful. But for those who want to understand how, if not why, such damage can be done to a child, it offers a cautionary tale worth reading. Certainly Margaux Fragoso has shown us that telling our stories can help us comprehend our own behaviors and encourage recovery. As she contemplates the Tiger in Curran, in herself, and potentially in us all, she asks with Blake: "Did he who made the Lamb make thee?"

And of course, beyond comprehension, he did. Though we may flinch, we cannot stop the Tigers or save their targets until we see them as they are. This book illuminates that forest of the night where they abide.

by Susan Schoch
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women
15 de 16 personas piensan que la opinión es útil
painful and devastating 14 de abril de 2011
Por Paul Allaer - Publicado en Amazon.com
Formato: Tapa dura
Margaux Fragoso was in an abusive relationship with a sexual predator for 15 years, from age 7 to 22, and now some 10 years later she writes her memoir about what it was like. I had read a number of great reviews about this book, and decided to pick it up recently, even though I knew the topic is painful and it would likely make for devastating reading. I was right on the latter.

In "Tiger, Tiger" (322 pages), the author retells the story of her 15 year relationship with a man called Peter, who befriended her at age 7 while she was in a dysfunctional family, and eventually corraled her into a sexual abusive relationship. You might ask why didn't she stop it as she grew older, but you need to read the author's account to truly understand. What struck me the most about reading this book is how "objective" the author brings the story. She at first seems not to blame Peter for what happened to her. But in the book's Afterword, she comes out and does point out what a sexual predator Peter in fact was, and asks for solutions: "It is true that strict enforcement of current penalties such as prison time for sex offenders is a vital part of the solution. Unfortunately, most pedophiles would be hard-pressed to find treatment options before a conviction as occurred".

It appears that the author has moved on with her life, as apparently she is now married and has a daughter. The very last lines of the book bring a ray of hope: "I make up stories for my daughter just as my father has done for me when I was her age. Some family traditions I keep; others must end with me". Wow. The author took an incredible leap of faith coming out and telling her painful story. I hope that lessons can be learned from it.
36 de 50 personas piensan que la opinión es útil
No Healing Evident in this Memoir 14 de marzo de 2011
Por Ellen C. Maze Sallas - Publicado en Amazon.com
Formato: Versión Kindle Compra verificada
If you hover over 2-stars, it says that means, "I don't like it." If you hover over 3-stars, you see, "It's okay." I'm giving this book 3 stars so the people who love it won't hate me, but I really didn't like it much at all.

Here's why:

A victim of child abuse seeks memoirs of other victims for healing. This book doesn't offer that. Rather, it elevates and excuses the abuser throughout the text. The author writes her sexual exploits graphically enough to thrill those who abuse children, but doesn't show the abuser for what he is. The final feeling I have for this book is that people who have never been sexually abused will think it's super sensitive and informative about the life of a victim. Those who have suffered this particular type of hell will have painful flashbacks with no healing hand applied whatsoever.

My advice is don't buy this book for a victim because you want to help them heal. If you're researching what it's like to be sexually abused from age 6 to 22 by an old man, and you want to know the reasoning behind why the victim enjoyed it and missed his attentions when he stopped...and why the abuser thought it was okay to have sex with a child...this is an excellent book for research.
8 de 10 personas piensan que la opinión es útil
A revealing chronicle of child abuse 31 de mayo de 2011
Por Bibanon1 - Publicado en Amazon.com
Formato: Tapa dura
This is a very difficult book to review because of the subject matter. TIGER, TIGER is Margaux Fragoso's unflinching memoir about her relationship with a pedophile from age 7 until his suicide when she was 22. I had heard good things about this book but, more than anything, I wanted to get some understanding as a parent about how things like this happen.

Fragoso's mother was a very damaged person---most likely schizophrenic. Her alcoholic father stayed away from home as much as possible due to his unhappy marriage and was hyper-critical and quick to anger. In their search for a peaceful retreat, Margaux and her mother befriended Peter Curran at a public pool. Curran's home gave Margaux's mother a safe place to act out on her neuroses and to escape from the criticism and anger of her husband. Margaux loved the fantasy world that Curran created in his home full of exotic pets and lack of rules. While her mother was lost in the haze of her mental illness, Margaux would venture into the basement of Curran's house where the sexual abuse began. The fact that Curran's home was Margaux's refuge from her parents complicated her feelings about what was happening to her. She thrived in Curran's attention and praise---things that were lacking in her home life. Fragoso slowly unspools her story and the complexity of her relationship with Curran and how it affected her in other aspects of her life. And how she finally broke the cycle of abuse.

This is such a painful book to read. It is hard to believe that any parent could be so unaware of what was happening to his/her child. We warn our children about the danger of strangers but the fact remains that this kind of abuse most often happens at the hands of people who are well known to a child and his/her parents. Margaux's mother went with her to Curran's house and was sitting upstairs while all of this was happening. Margaux's father even suspected something was amiss but did no more than tell his daughter that if she WAS "involved" with Curran, he would disown her. This child had no adult champions other than her abuser. The very person who robbed her of her childhood.

It is very hard to separate out my feelings about the subject matter of this book versus the written word. I think Fragoso does a very good job demonstrating how this relationship came to be and its impact on her life. Curran isn't a clear-cut villain either. He clearly struggles with his impulses and Fragosos recognizes that fact. I applaud her honesty and forthrightness about this subject. It can't be easy to open up about something like this. She clearly does so to make us all aware about how this kind of thing can happen. She also offers sources of support for potential abusers at the end of the book in the hope that they will get help before hurting someone.

BOTTOM LINE: Recommended with reservations. The subject matter is unflinching. This is a very difficult book to read. However, it is well done and brings to light some important truths about pedophilia and child abuse.