Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots [Tapa blanda]

I start with this title, because after reading many of the reviews below, it seems that most people have not, and there is a not so subtle battle ensuing as people are defending their belief system against those that offend it. The reviews below remind me of those surrounding "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins, which simply became a battleground of athiests vs believers. Take most reviews and ratings with a grain of salt.

About the book:

WHAT I LIKED
1) This is a rare glimpse into the Satmar world, unique among books because a)The author is the rare person who got out b) She had the courage to write about it c) Has the decent enough English skills to do so (Yiddish is the first language for Satmar Jews)

2)It exposes the darker side of the Satmar sect, where religion is more a matter of appearances that true spiritual growth. It shows religious hypocrisy at its worst.

WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE
1) While the book is most certainly authentic in a general sense, I wonder about how much exaggeration there might be. The author is passionate and clearly has a very personal agenda. It remains a question how much the author allowed her emotions to stretch the truth at times. The incredulous murder story, (since debunked?) certainly lends some credence to these doubts.

2) The book seemed to delve into detail when such detail was boring, but often devoted only a short paragraph to matters that begged for more. Overall, there was too much on her childhood, not enough on the story of how she left.

3) While impressive for an ex-Hasid, it is not written particularly well.

OVERALL:
When placed alongside books like "Infidel", by Hirsi (a woman who escaped from a Fundamentalist Muslim upbringing), or Krakauers "Under a Banner of Heaven" (about Mormon Fundamentalism) this pales in comparison in terms of style, content, and overall richness of the story. Still, for the reader interested in Hasidism, particularly Satmar, this will be an eye opening account, even if it is taken with a few grains of salt.

It should be stated that the Satmar community depicted in this book is far different from the Chabad Hasidism that was recently depicted by Oprah. There are many sects of Hasidism, and some, such as Chabad, and Breslover, are known for a more joyous and spiritual bend, as opposed to Satmar, which is considered far stricter. This should not be a person's sole source of knowledge on everything Hasidism, and certainly Jewish.

First, I actually read the book. Secondly, I am a Roman Catholic, but I do have Jewish ancestry, which is what inspired me to read this book.

The author is very young and sometimes her writing seems amateur and immature. Other times, she seems to contradict herself, almost as if she is still having trouble parting with her faith; she probably is. Her upbringing, culture, and faith are her foundation and questions, parting with, and being highly critical of that foundation would make most wobble a bit and appear to make contradictions, especially at the age of 24.

That being said, she does a good job introducing the reader to a world and culture usually closed to outsiders; the world of the Satmar. Some of her claims seem unbelievable and far-fetched, such as a story about a man that kills his boy when he catches him masturbating. What makes this story even more unbelievable is her claim that the Jewish emergency service helped him cover-up the killing of his child and dispose of the body. This story is obviously not true. The author doesn't claim to have witnessed this event, but instead, she claims that her husband was told about this, from another source. I can see how someone raised in a culture that shuns televisions, the English language, newspapers, and just about any form of media, could easily be led to believe such a story. It is possible that the author made up this story to embellish the book, but it is more likely that she was told this story, by someone she trusted, and she was gullible enough to believe it.

This story is about a culture that turned insular, in an effort to survive and became repressive and oppressive. I was surprised to learn that orthodox Jewry in the Old World, in Europe, prior to the Holocaust, was not as strict as that which is practiced by the Satmar, or others that are referred to as Ultra-Orthodox. The Holocaust caused, for some, a reflex reaction, a desire to be a perfect Jew, in the hopes that God would reward by ensuring that another Holocaust never occurs.

The author's family is also very dysfunctional and would probably be so if they were Christian, Muslim, or any other faith. The more repressive aspects of the Satmar culture, especially with regards to women, probably worsened the author's upbringing, but these cultural aspects were being interpreted by damaged people.

As long as one keeps these facts in mind, you can read this book and learn quite a bit about Satmar culture. Don't condemn an entire culture because of one family. Don't forget that most Americans are not very many generations removed from a time when women were not equal in the eyes of the law and African Americans could be beaten for using the wrong drinking fountain. Every culture has its fair share of issues.

This is a very intriguing book because it gives an insight into growing up in the Orthodox Jewish Hasidic community of Satmar. Although I was familiar with other Hasidic sects, the Satmar were new to me. She explains it mostly through the eyes of a child so I had to do a bit of on-line research to learn more about them. The biggest surprise is their complete opposition to Israel - they believe they must wait for the coming of the Messiah to return to their homeland - but much of the daily life seems similar (to me) to other Hasidic communities. From childhood, she longed for more in both learning and reading. She had to sneak to read English language books as they were forbidden but her hunger drove her to take the risk and she became fluent in English. This would help her professionally but also cause her to keep questioning what she saw around her. (Perhaps her elders were right - English leads to trouble, particularly for women!)

I know there will be criticism from some in the Jewish community who consider Ms. Feldman an apostate for leaving Orthodoxy, but leaving aside those ideological issues, there is a lot to learn from this book. I think she is careful to write very kindly of her grandparents (who raised her) even though her leaving must have been a great blow to them (she does not write about that) but she is frankly critical of the rigid rules and some of the hypocrisy she saw. I admire her honesty. And in her defense, this kind of expose could be written about many other closed groups - Amish, Morman, Christian fundamentalist, Muslims, Catholic monasteries, etc. In such an insular environment anyone who rebels against the group must appear to be a traitor to those who remain. It takes great courage to break out of such an intensely closed group and it often means being completely cutoff from family and friends. I hope in her case she will eventually get some closure with her family members but sometimes that doesn't happen. But whatever happens I hope she finds the peace and happiness she is searching for - experience says that the adjustment to her new life will take a long time but I think in the end she made the right choice because she would always feel enslaved had she stayed. No matter how good the community was, it was not the right life for her. Good luck to her.

And a personal note: I have some experience with such things. When I was much younger I was a cloistered Catholic nun for 10 years and the culture shock of leaving that life was immense. I think only someone who has been through that can truly appreciate it. And to Deborah Feldman I say: Hang in there - it is definitely worth it.